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Okay, Canada, time to put-up or shut-up.

You gripe that politicians are dishonest, that you want people of integrity in office, politicians who respect the voters. Well, do me a favour? Don’t piss in my ear and tell me it’s raining.

The party leading in the polls is one that has been proven guilty of a string of ethics violations, campaign finance  fraud, abuse of power, lying (Hi, Bev Oda!) and has made history as the first party to be found guilty of  contempt of Parliament. Not once, but twice.

For those thinking,”hey, big deal, we’re all contemptuous of Parliament”, thank you very much, we know you’re here all week and we will tip our waitresses.

Contempt of Parliament means the government attempted to operate in secret, rule through deception and dishonesty and violate the pillars of parliamentary democracy. In short, they cheated and lied. And didn’t have the decency to apologize. That’s like dry butt-sexing the country without the courtesy of a reach-around.

This isn’t about warring political philosophies, not about ‘left’ or ‘right’. The conduct of the Harper government has been dishonest, arrogant and disrespectful. Maybe this is why it’s taking Harper so long to write his alleged book on Hockey: he’s having trouble grasping the concept of a game with rules, and penalties for breaking them.

Unless somewhere along the way, lying and cheating became core conservative philosophies (they haven’t), then the behavior is an indictment of  Harper and his finger puppets, not Tory political theory. Conservatives, by nature, respect tradition and the rule of law. Harper has peed on both. Keep supporting him, conservatives, and you’re headed down a path of moral compromise that is completely anti-conservative in nature. In other words – open ass, remove head.

As for the rest of you who aren’t dyed-in-the-wool (no sock jokes, please) Tories, why the hell would you vote for the Harpercrite government? You really think that a highly-educated, accomplished scholar, broadcaster, author and professor or a sarcastic sock puppet are a worse choices than a gang of proven crooks? (Yes, that’s a rhetorical question).

This election hasn’t been about issues, it’s been a big dick contest. The Tories are practically walking erections, proving their virility by breaking the rules and thumbing their nose at the pencil-dicks who complain. This is very entertaining in movies like “Beverly Hills Cop” and classic 80s TV shows like “Hunter”, but not so much when governing a country. A movie ticket costs under $15 and the film runs 120 minutes; our tax dollars amount to billions of dollars and the life of a government is measured in years. And there’s no popcorn.

So if you want to ignore Harper’s established corruption, that’s your prerogative. But then don’t act all outraged when governments of the future continue down that path. If you want good government, reward the honest efforts and punish the liars, or you’re not getting the government you want – you’re getting the one you deserve.

I’m Ed the Sock, your FU Party candidate for PM, and I’m nobody’s puppet.

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